I am 28 years old… My friday nights used to be about a new outfit, bars, drinks, dancing ….. eat horriable  kebab.. look something like off “booze britan” …£50 quid down… rotten hangover… next day cold “money fear” sweats. My friday nights over the last year have become “treat night” me and my boyfriend will either get fish and Chips or a nice supermarket pizza and a bottle of wine and lots of rubbish tv..cuddles on the coach…play with the cats….. maybe i have got old and settled down… at least my liver and dignty are recovering : ) …. i think its more that i wised up to my spending habits! Because i know if i had the money in my purse i would be out… right about now.. 9.30pm in a wine bar somewhere!..mmmmmm. Because thats where my circle of friends are… the late 20s set … all have great jobs..great cvs…great prospects…lovely clothes…lovely homes..posh cars.. ….shit loads of debt that no one knows about and too scared to deal with it!

I suppose my IVA gives me some displine (very much needed) but it also gives me  hope to a bright future! A future where I am not in debt, where I have learnt the displine to spend money on what is needed!

Its not easy and i struggle all the time … with feelings of shame and guilt (no one really knows my situation apart from my boyfriend and best friend) and envy of other people who seeming have it all!!

I have talked before about how horriable it is making excuses not to go on friday night benders… but its getting easier! … now my work mates make a joke that “she will only come out if its free”… which is true!!…

 So maybe i spend too much time, checking my budget..checking out economy food in the supermarket..chatting on debt forums..?!…. maybe i am just learning just like the song “the best things in life are free”… its more important to have good friends a loving family than the owning stuff! …the newest ipod, car, house, clothes..

I dont post on my blog for sympthy .. i post because what i write is honest.. I spent too much and got myself into this mess but i am getting myself out.. I have a degree in sociology and I could argue that i am a victim of “affluenza!” or a product of a western consumrism… that i am merly a symptom of the lack of moral codes and values of a “need” society.

But you know what.. Its all rubbish .. i had no control.. i enjoyed the buzz of the swipe of the credit card! …It hit me once when i was at work.. if you can believe this part of my job is to give basic advice on welfare benefits and debt advice.. and i thought “who i am to lecture about credit card debt of £500 to this person.. when my own credit card is somewhere near £5,000!!” so i took my own advice and got ADVICE!

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